Assassins From The Past:
by Fandom Girl Writer
Summary: It started out as a mission. But most things in SHIELD did. Just another recon, collecting a bad person, putting them in jail where they couldn't hurt anyone like he had. It was so simple, so easy. Well, it was meant to be. What really happened was a huge, tangled mess. But we as readers love huge, tangled messes. Especially if they concern one of our favourite characters. 2 shot.
1. Chapter 1

Assassin Or Friend?

" _Rachel, come on we need to run quickly!" She screamed, herding everyone into the van as she tried to protect Rachel from the soldiers. They surrounded the back of the van where she and Rachel stood and she quickly put her arms up in front of Rachel who cried behind her, tears streaming down her face. She took a breath, slowly backing away, a tear slipping down her own face as she slowly herded Rachel to the van. "Wait a moment please. If you're going to kill me, give me a moment." She pleaded, taking a breath as the soldiers cocked their guns._

 _She shook under their aim, trying to calm herself with the deep breathing exercises and suddenly, Rachel was pulled out from behind her and the van doors closed as they sped off. She dropped to the ground, trying to avoid the gunshots being fired at the bulletproof van._

 _When the van got away, she got up holding her up and coming to terms with her upcoming death as she wiped away the tears and smiled at Rachel's safety. Her eye caught Bucky's as he punched the last soldier and she nodded, mouthing her last words. "Thank you." She closed her eyes, ready for the shot and Bucky ran as fast as he could, trying to get to her before-_

 _BANG!_

"Helena!" Bucky shouted, his eyes snapping open as he breathed harder, his chest heaving as he recovered from the nightmare. It was the same one he'd been gotten for a month after this supposed incident happened. Bucky remembered having the dream before but after what HYDRA had done to him, he didn't properly remember a thing. He didn't know who the woman was but he remembered her little sister, Rachel. He didn't remember a last name, how he met them, what was happening in the dream but what he did know was that the woman was important.

"Good morning. You have a free day." FRIDAY told him as he groaned, looking at the time and seeing it was only 5:00 in the morning. He got up, knowing that he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. He made coffee in the pot he'd transferred to his room for incidents like this and sat on his bed with the mug and gently sipped at it, thinking over the dream again.

He knew the events of the dream (if they had happened) had happened a few months before Steve had saved him. He knew that HYDRA had been trying to reverse what the woman had done to him. He knew that the woman was probably dead and he shouldn't waste time thinking about it but he couldn't help it. He knew she was important somehow and part of him believed she wasn't dead and she was real. He didn't know how but he just knew she wasn't dead. But the rational part of him didn't let himself believe or indulge in the luxury of hope for long.

He never properly remembered his reaction to the dream, just hearing noise before he properly registered life. It was another thing that HYDRA had done to his brain, to help him register pain less and he felt angry every time he thought about it. Even as he thought about it, the handle which he held in his metal arm crushed and clay dust fell into his hands as he sighed, putting the mug in the bin with others like it.

He thought about asking FRIDAY to tell him what he said but was apprehensive of the answer. He didn't want to hear something he'd regret but he threw caution to the wind, knowing he already had things he regretted. Another would barely make a dent. "FRIDAY?" He asked, trying to get the AI's attention first.

"Yes Sergeant Barnes?" She asked, polite as always.

"Do you know what I say when I wake up from that nightmare?" He questioned, hoping not to find something he didn't want to.

"I did record it as a matter of fact. Playing." FRIDAY spoke, the recording playing as Bucky clenched his fists, his insides feeling like they were doing the same.

"Helena! Helena! Helena!" The recording played over and over again, tormenting Bucky as his mind flashed with images of the woman again. He fell to the floor as he kept seeing the pictures and tried his deep breathing exercises, remembering who he learnt the technique from.

"Sergeant Barnes are you alright?" FRIDAY asked, alerting Captain America as she stopped the recording, leaving Bucky gasping for breath on the floor.

"Buck!" Steve shouted, rushing into the room. He knelt by Bucky as he pulled him up from the floor. "What happened?" He asked, looking around for any attackers.

"Memory." Bucky whispered, his head pounding as he looked up at Steve, getting up with a low groan.

"It's never affected you that much." Steve stated, worry obvious on his face as he helped Buck to the seat. "What did you remember?" He asked and Buck shook his head, telling him not to pry. He knew that when Buck did that, Steve had to leave him alone with his memories. He would tell him everything later but at that moment, it was too raw and fresh. Most of Buck's memories were of killing people and he always needed a moment. "I'll see you later." Steve told him, reluctant to leave. He didn't want to leave Buck to face everything alone but he knew that his friend needed space, not only from him but from the world.

Bucky closed his eyes, curling up in the chair as he thought about what he saw. He saw so many images of the woman, Helena. He saw her from under her, looking up at her sweet smile. He saw from above, close as he comforted her teary face. He saw her on her knees, talking to Rachel and comforting her younger sister. He saw her from a distance, looking beautiful, up close with a caring smile. He saw her from so many different angles and they all flashed through her mind.

He closed his eyes, trying to relax as he went to sleep before waking up again quickly when JARVIS started speaking again. "You have now got a 9:00 meeting with Director Fury." He told him, the rest of his words sounding like water through Bucky's tired ears. He quickly got up and rushed to Fury's office. He met Natasha outside the office and they both entered together as Fury called them in.

"Hello Sergeant Barnes. Miss Romanoff." Fury greeted with a smile as they both stood opposite.

"What's the mission?" Bucky asked, looking him straight in the eye.

"Just a simple recon. We recently found out about an abandoned HYDRA base, scope it out. Find anything useful and download it onto this." Fury told them, giving them a memory stick.

"And if we don't?" Bucky asked, still not entirely convinced about SHIELD.

"Nothing gained, nothing lost." Fury replied, trying his best to seem friendly. Natasha had told him all about his 'trust issues'. And even if she hadn't, he'd been through this before. He knew.

"When do we go?" Nat asked, trying to keep things light.

"Now." Fury replied and they both walked out, going to the Helicarrier. The trip was short and it seemed like the mission would be even shorter when they found no one inside the HYDRA base before Bucky did find someone. Before he heard footsteps and carefully creeped into the room.

It was only at the last moment that Nat had thought to bring Bucky into it. They barely had enough time to fully explain what had happened so he didn't understand it too well but he was only a precaution. If Nat had to start fighting or if there was a HYDRA official there and they didn't play, then Bucky's 'skills' might be necessary.

"Excuse me? I don't think you should carry on with that. Just a thought." He warned the woman, calling out in a deep and dangerous voice as he tried to scare her. The woman turned around with a smirk, leaving the memory stick to carry on downloading as she tried to distract the man.

"And who is it who thinks this?" She asked before seeing his face properly as Bucky removed the gun from his face, lowering it at the sight of her face. It was her, the woman he'd been remembering. She was real, she wasn't a dream. And best of all, she wasn't dead. His mind was buzzing with obvious revelations as he looked at her. She was so different from his memories but it was definitely her. She didn't have a kind smile on her, she was wearing HYDRA uniform and her face was harder and angrier with eye bags as she glared at him.

"Helena?" He breathed, remembering the name from earlier that day. "What are you doing?" He asked, looking at her as she recovered from the initial shock. His guard faltered as he recognised her.

"My job." She told him matter-of-factly, turning back around to check the download but internally cursed when she saw it was going to take another minute yet. She turned to Bucky and saw he was advancing and stayed backed up against the computer, still a little wary. "And what would the Winter Soldier be doing with an Avenger?" She asked, obvious disdain in her voice as she tried to mask her fear and pain as she properly remembered everything. Her head was pounding like her heartbeat as she remembered flashes of Bucky.

"I'm not the Winter Soldier anymore. I'm Bucky Barnes." He confirmed, shaking thoughts of his past life out of his head. He had to forget that. He was not him anymore.

"You sold out? How long has it been?" She asked, disgust in her voice as she regarded the assassin who looked away at her question. "Strange how you were an assassin as the Winter Soldier and yet in SHIELD, they still use you as an assassin." She told him, moving away from the memory stick as she was sure she had his full attention.

"I was never me as the Winter Soldier. That wasn't me. Not the person I am now." He defended, almost pleading her to understand his situation.

"How was it not you? Was it an act? How did you get out?" She asked, bombarding him with the exact same type of manipulative questions that HYDRA would ask. Bucky's comm link crackled with Natasha's voice, asking for Intel but he ignored it, turning it off. Helena scoffed at this, commenting on it as she barely contained her bitterness at his escape from HYDRA. "Not fully obeying your masters yet?" She asked, mocking him.

"They're not my masters. They're my friends. And I was saved by Steve. My friend." He told her, stressing the words. He wondered what had happened to the lovely woman he'd met as the Winter Soldier. The woman he'd met had been hardened, her core turning cold through the years of being an assassin.

"Aw, you had a friend to save you. Lucky you." She mocked again, her bitterness obvious. "At least you have someone." She whispered, that last comment more for herself than him. "A friend." She spat louder, snapping out of it.

"I'm your friend. I can help you, I promise. Just trust me." He tried, knowing exactly what she must be thinking at that moment, having gone through it all.

"Why should I?" She challenged angrily, backing away from him, making him hang his head. "Why should I trust the man who took it all away?" She asked and Bucky looked up in surprise. "Oh yeah, I remember that. I remember how I had a sister and a lifestyle and you and your HYDRA goons took it all away. And then they enslaved me, keeping me as their little pet!" She spat, making Bucky sigh again as he remembered what he'd done to her. "And then he got saved by his bestie, ran away and lived happily ever after. Suddenly he wants to help me?" She asked sceptically, a little resentfully.

"Because I am your friend." He told her, trying to reassure her and ignore her harsh words and scoffing. "You helped me, I want to return the favour." Bucky spoke truthfully as Helena raised her eyebrows at this, crossing her arms and keeping her distance. "And I know you don't like this life. Nobody does. No matter what they tell you, you wish for a better life like in the stories you told me. I know that's true because you told me." He finished triumphantly, catching her off guard. Her eyes started to shine over and she breathed harder, moving over to him angrily.

"The person who told you that is gone. Someone else replaced her. Someone realistic and clever." She growled, her voice deliberately hardened. She didn't give him the chance to respond as she used her knife to lunge out at him, quickly attacking. Luckily, his quick reflexes saved him as he used the butt of his gun to block as they switched positions in the room. Where Bucky had been standing at the entrance, she was there. And where she had been by the computers, Bucky was there.

"That's not true." He challenged, not breaking even as she attacked. Every word he said just angered her more but he persisted regardless. "I know she is in there. You may be clever, but the imagination was what I loved about you." He tried, not wanting to lose another friend.

"It is true." She combated, both verbally and physically as she held the knife inches from his throat, only blocked by his metal arm. "If you don't believe me, just look at me. I am attacking you. Why would a friend do that? Ever imagined that?" She asked, mocking him again as she stopped for a moment, breathing heavily. Suddenly, she struck out again, getting close and only not succeeding in her murder attempts because of Bucky's increased strength.

"Because you're scared? Threatened?" He suggested as they circled again, returning to their earlier places.

"I'm not scared." She breathed, holding the knife out in front of her before watching him and seeing his genuine concern.

"Then why are you doing this?" He asked as they continued circling.

"Because I have no choice! What do you think?" She growled, her other hand fumbling behind her as they stopped circling. Bucky was too occupied with the knife pointed at him in her other hand to see her pocketing the drive.

"I'm giving you a choice. Come with me, I can help you!" He pleaded, looking her in the eyes. It seemed he had gotten through to her as tears filled her eyes. She seemed more like the person he'd met all those months ago and Bucky dropped his guard. A tear fell from her eye and Bucky moved closer, taking a risk as she let the water flow, her breathing becoming shakier as she let down her walls. He put a hand to her face to wipe the tears away and she flinched at the touch. It had been too long since she'd had a warm, caring touch.

Despite her flinching, Bucky persisted, moving closer but it was too much. "Other people get everything handed to them on a silver platter in life." She told him, sobbing as she wiped away a few of the tears. "I did everything for Rachel and other people, I tried to help everyone and nothing worked." She finished, reminiscent of the memories they had both regained. After this sentence, she pushed him back and ran to the exit, holding up a gun at him. "I'm sorry." She whispered as Buck held up his hands. She fired at a gas pipe and threw a lighter into the room before running as far as she could, hoping to get back to base and leave him there.

Bucky ran, getting out before it exploded but he was quiet as he walked around for a bit, circling the rendezvous point, waiting for Natasha to join him. Little did he know, Natasha had ambushed Helena who was still recovering from everything that had happened. "Running away are we?" She asked, moving forwards with a gun as Helena back away, bringing back out the knife again.

"No, fulfilling a mission. You should know all about that Miss Romanoff." She told her, speaking with venom as her tear tracks dried in the wind.

"Oh trust me, I do. But what I don't understand is your eagerness to get back to your base. You aren't under any mind control, you might've had your memories wiped and you really don't seem the type for psychopathic tendencies. Why do you love this life so much?" She asked, moving forwards as if stalking her prey. Helena moved further back with her knife still in front of her as if warding off a ghost. A tear slipped down her face and Natasha watched with an interested look. "Ooh, this is exciting." She spoke, analysing her as she stood in front of her.

"What?" Helena spat at the woman who just laughed at her attempts of intimidation.

"You're crying. And not crocodile tears. So you are very much capable of emotion." She nodded with an amused smile. "You just hide it. It was learnt." She whispered, moving in on her prey.

"Just like you I'd say." Helena fired back, leaving the redhead with a small smile.

"The only question is, who made you? The red room is gone, it is gone for sure. It can't be that. Oh wait, HYDRA." She depicted, waiting for a reaction from the brunette.

"Just let me finish my mission, I need to do this ok?" She told the redhead who simply narrowed her eyes at Helena.

"Why?" She asked, but got no answer, only an attack. She lunged and threw her knife at her, the attack missing as Natasha flipped to doge it. While she was momentarily distracted, the other woman fired a gunshot into the air, prompting Natasha to pull her own out and looked around while Helena disappeared into the smoke bomb she had released. When it had finally cleared, Helena was long gone. "Damnit!" She cursed, looking around for any trace but was unpleasantly supplied with only the news that Helena was good. She had disappeared and was good as her, perhaps even better.

She went back to the rendezvous point and then eventually SHIELD with Bucky but kept the encounter to herself. It seemed like it wasn't just her who had been shaken by the mission failure. Barnes seemed uncharacteristically quiet and sullen. Natasha eyed him quietly but didn't speak. He was the one who'd let her get away. What had happened? How did he get fooled? She doubted her got distracted by her as a woman, she wasn't that kind of assassin and Barnes wasn't that type of agent. However, it was the only other idea she had. She had to branch out and think of what other possibilities there could be.

Nat decided to forget about Barnes for a moment, thinking about the woman. What about her? Who was she and why was she so eager to get back? The most likely scenario seemed to be a hostage. She had someone hostage and HYDRA was the one keeping them there, prompting her to do their bidding. If so, that would be hard. The people with hostages never believed it would be okay if they went with SHIELD. They had good reason but they always believed that they had to do it themselves.

How was Nat going to work around if it was a hostage? She decided to go talk to Barnes and get his opinion on it, and find out what was wrong with him. "JARVIS? Can you locate Barnes?" She asked, getting up.

"Sergeant James Barnes is in the research room where he has been for the past few days after the mission." JARVIS informed and Natasha fiddles with her arrow necklace absent-mindedly.

"Ok, thanks J." Nat flashed him a smile, not that he could see it and set on her way. She picked up an almost empty pizza box on the way to give to him and have as a legitimate excuse other than getting information out of him to visit. "Hey Barnes. Figured you could use some food." Natasha greeted as she walked in, seeing the mess everywhere. Bucky tried to frantically clean up some of the mess and hide it so she wouldn't see as she sat down in the only other chair, putting the pizza between them as a peace offering.

"Thanks." He spoke, opening it up as he watched her cautiously.

"Forget it. It's nothing." Natasha smiled, taking a piece for herself.

"What do you need?" Bucky asked, never having had such a close relationship with the redhead.

"Ok, I'm just going to cut to the point and ask you what happened with the mission." She asked, seeing Bucky stiffen with the question. "Yeah, I saw that." She confirmed as Bucky cast his eyes downward.

"I just had a moment." Bucky made up, trying to excuse himself from the conversation.

"What about the rest of the excuse? Why did you have a moment in the first place?" She challenged, folding her arms as she watched him carefully.

"Can you keep a secret?" Bucky asked before looking up and seeing Nat's face, raising a brow at his question. She was one of the most trustworthy people in the Tower. One of the skills taught to you when you became a spy. How to keep a secret. Easily.

"Really?" Natasha asked sceptically.

"Ok, sorry." He apologised with a small smile. "I just, I remember being the Winter Soldier. All of it. Most of it was terrible, just killing and killing but…" He trailed off, lost in memory. "I remember her." He revealed and Natasha watched, interested.

"How?" She asked, wondering how someone could have made such an impact on the Winter Soldier. Not Sergeant James Barnes, the Winter Soldier.

"I was on a mission. Can't remember which one but, I had been careless. I forgot to cover my tracks so they couldn't retrace the signal back to the base. Then she came. She was so fast. The soldiers had begun to beat me for my mistake." He remembered casually as if it was every day for him. Natasha winced as she knew it had been every day for her as well. "I was on the floor, bleeding out. Then she threw a smoke bomb and when it cleared, all the agents were on the floor. She had only one left to fight and she did it easily. HYDRA aren't so easily beaten but she did it like it was nothing." He shrugged, smiling at the memory.

"What happened then?" Nat asked, prompting him to go on.

"I passed out. Woke up in a whole other country, Helena was helping me. She had a bowl of water and a ripped piece of cloth. There was so little in that place but she used it to help me." He told Natasha as if trying to convince her of Helena's innocence. Despite what she had said, and what she had become, Bucky truly believed she was still there. Even after 3 days of nonstop searching with little to no leads, he still believed he could find her, and if possible, bring her back.

 _Flashback:_

" _What happened?" Bucky asked, groaning as he tried to get up, seeing bright light all around him._

" _Just rest. You were quite badly wounded when I found you." A calm, smooth English accent spoke, soothing him slightly._

" _Who are you?" He asked, not quite done with the questions just yet. A part of him was about to attack if he didn't get any answer soon. The way she soothed him was nice but when he realised what she could do, it unnerved him, the HYDRA brainwashing kicking in._

" _I'm not important. I just thought I should help." She shrugged, gently cleaning up some blood from his face. She was a beautiful woman, short brown hair matching her eyes which he swore had flecks of gold in them but he couldn't tell if it was his concussion which was making him see that or not. She wasn't short but in fact, just a few inches off of him, he guessed. She had a cut on her lip which seemed fresh and he had a feeling that it was from the fight she'd had with the soldiers beating him. A bruise was fading from the side of her head and another more prominent one was poking out of the bottom of her jaw, its purple outline obvious._

" _How bad is it?" He asked jokingly, seeing that she was his ticket out of the place and that he shouldn't antagonise her._

" _No so bad anymore. I've cleaned the wounds, sterilised the wounds. You have quite a few bruises which will fade with time but the most concerning thing for me is your arm. It seems to be metal." She noted, smirking as she joked around with him. She finished her medical assessment and got up, putting the water to one side._

" _Yeah, it does that." Bucky smiled back, not being able to help himself. Something about the way this woman was so calm about him made him smile. "Why would you help me?"_

" _Because you needed help?" She offered, wondering just how naïve he was._

" _That's not the only reason. That's never the only reason." Bucky told her, suspicious of her intent as she arranged some bandages on the table._

" _What if it was?" The woman fantasised, dreaming of a world where it could be as she turned to face him. "What if the only reason we helped each other was because we could?" She asked and Bucky must've had a confused look on his face because she laughed at him, about to turn back to the table when a little, timid knock on the floor alerted them both to someone at the door._

" _Um, Helena? I bought the food you asked for." A young girl told her, holding out the wooden bowl on a tray in front of her. She shook with the weight although it didn't look like much and it made Bucky frown with her weakness. She didn't look like she'd had a lot to eat herself, neither of them did._

" _Thank you Rachel." Helena smiled kindly, relieving the weight from her and putting to down next to Bucky, keeping a smile on her face as she concentrated, placing it down gently even as it shook in her hands._

" _Um, Helena?" Rachel asked, bringing Helena's attention back to her. "Who is he?" She asked, pointing to Bucky who was busy looking at the food. It was very little but still more than HYDRA and who was he to complain when she had saved him?_

" _Just someone who needed help." Helena told her as she stroked her hair, hugging her gently._

" _I'm hungry." She moaned, her stomach grumbling on cue as she sighed, leaning into Helena's stomach which was emptier than hers. She heard Helena sigh, guilt almost dripping off of her as she kept her close for comfort. "How long are we going to be here this time?" Rachel asked, looking up at her with tear filled eyes, prompting Helena to pull her in for another hug._

" _Not for much longer I promise." She told her, bending down and looking at her. "You know, one day we won't have to do this. One day we can settle down somewhere. I'll get a job and we can live happily. One day, you won't ever have to worry about the next meal ever again. I promise." Helena stressed, tears bubbling in her own eyes as she tried to reassure Rachel. "Mum and Dad may be gone but we can still manage ok? We just have to be strong." She told Rachel, setting her head on top of hers and gently rocking her back and forth. "Do you believe me?" She asked, kissing the top of her head._

" _Yeah." The younger sister managed to choke out through the tears. "Can you do a magic trick for me later?" She asked, trying to brighten the mood._

" _Of course sis. I'll get everything ready once I am done here ok?" She asked, pulling away and wiping away a few tears from both their faces, both completely oblivious to Bucky in the room as he witnessed the emotional scene._

" _Ok." Rachel agreed, walking out. Helena sighed, sniffing back a few more tears before trying to pull herself together and going back to Bucky who had been watching the entire exchange, interested._

" _She your sister?" He asked as she went back to him, kneeling down again to him._

" _No questions about that, you won't get any answers." Helena replied, suddenly frosty. "Ask about yourself. Your surroundings, your injuries but not about me." She ordered, checking over his bandages and seeing if they needed to be replaced. "Please." She added, her emotion bubbling over. "If you want answers, deduce. You never get everything handed to you on a silver platter in life." She spoke angrily, thinking about her own experiences. She laid down the rules as she nervously took a few breaths, trying to calm her emotion. She'd had a lot of experience with that as well. Bucky nodded, getting a sense of how she rolled._

" _Ok, she's your sister." He stated first as Helena tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and nodded quickly as though someone could see them and the answer could tear them apart. "I'm in a different country." He stated next and this time, Helena snorted with laughter. His lips quirked at her reaction, finding it cute._

" _I wish." She replied, half bitter and half wistful. It was as if she was trying to be positive but even that took its toll on her lifestyle. "No, this is my haven." She smiled, picking up a few more bandages before turning back to Bucky's wounds. "My, safe place." She phrased with a smile. "But then again, not even that is so safe anymore. Nothing is." She finished on a low note, fear in her voice._

" _Sounds like you keep everyone safe." Bucky pointed out, shifting away from the makeshift bed she'd summoned up for him. Helena smiled at him, a tear slipping down her face as she quickly wiped it away and started redoing the bandage. "So I'm still in England." He stated, moving on as she nodded. "Are you on the run?" He asked softly, not so much forgetting the rules but wanting to see what would happen if he broke them. Or used them in such a way to get a reaction from his saviour._

" _Hmm." She nodded, not having enough words to express her plight. Her eyes were welling up with tears just at the mention and she got up abruptly, chucking the cloth in the bowl before walking to the corner to compose herself. Bucky tried to get up after her but she held out a finger behind her, sensing what he was trying to do. "Wait, just wait." She pleaded as he reluctantly stayed where he was, putting the shirt provided on. "We won't always be. I promise you, we won't always be on the run." She repeated, reassuring herself more than him as her finger dropped._

 _The words tugged at Bucky's heartstrings and he got up despite her warnings and walked over to her, embracing her from behind. She sobbed quietly, trying to stop the tears from running down her face. As he started to put his arms around her, she turned around into his chest, falling against him. She sobbed louder now, audible enough for Bucky to hold her close until the tears finally subsided. He soothed her, making gentle shushing noises as she cried._

 _When the tears seemed to show signs of subsiding, she seemed incredibly old and tired, as if the weight of worlds rested on her shoulders. Bucky didn't know where it came from, but he decided to sing a lullaby. When she talked about her mother and father having being gone, it just came to Bucky's mind and he knew that she could be soothed by it._

With Bucky and Nat:

"So you like her?" Nat summarised, looking at him with mirth dancing in her eyes.

"Uh, no, not like that." Bucky stuttered, trying to think of how to phrase it.

"Sure Barnes." She raised an eyebrow, obviously not believing him. "So, you want to find her again to hand her over to SHIELD?" She challenged and Bucky looked away. "You want to help her?" She corrected herself, looking at him worriedly. "You do realise that might not be possible?" She suggested in a small voice, already having been through this with Steve. She didn't want to make the same mistake twice. "Barnes?" She asked, not hearing any reply.

"Yeah." He spoke, making Nat cringe. She knew he still fully believed he could help her, like Steve did with him.

"Are you sure?" She asked, regretting her promise to keep it a secret.

"Yeah." He replied, more firm as she looked at his research. He instantly snapped shut the folder, picking up the pizza box and shoving it in Nat's hands, a clear sign for her to leave. She did a little reluctantly as she watched the closed folder, leaving the room. Her first instinct was to go find Steve but thought better of it as she realised her promise. She tried to think over what to do and wished that she hadn't been so reckless with her promises. She knew not to be so reckless but her curiosity had gotten the best of her. Bucky made sure she was gone and sighed, looking at the computer.

He knew she was right. He knew he probably wouldn't be able to find her until the next mission but decided to look back at the HYDRA base. He cleaned up the mess in the room, that alone taking him an hour as he finished all the pizza he'd left, printing off all the newspapers he'd seen online that he thought could be connected to her. He knew a rough time zone, knowing this was only a few months ago. Before he was saved by Steve.

He walked out of the room, clearing everything up. Nat watched all this from the CCTV cameras she'd asked JARVIS to let her view and felt a little bit of relief as she watched what she thought was Bucky giving up on her. She knew the pain of losing someone and thinking it was your fault, she'd lost several people in the field. She knew the effects of trying to find someone you thought you'd lost but just found, she'd seen it all happen before with Steve. She didn't want the same to happen to Bucky who was already unstable. Fury wouldn't want to lose an asset like Bucky.

She walked out of the viewing room to meet him halfway in the hall and smiled at him holding the newspapers he'd printed. "You finally come to your senses?" She asked, holding out her hand for the papers.

"Uh, yeah." Bucky agreed, reluctantly giving her the paperwork. He didn't want to but he knew that she would follow him if she actually knew and didn't want that on him. She took it and walked away happily, going to look through it. Bucky watched and waited until she was properly gone before groaning in annoyance, putting his head in his hands. He sighed angrily, in the HYDRA base.

 **He walked through it, a gun and knife by his side like always. He heard his footsteps echo through the hall like always, only this time, accompanied by someone else's. "Hello?" He called out, his hand on his gun as he looked around.**

" **Not again!" He heard a voice groan as he walked back into the computer room.**

" **Who's there?" He called, holding the gun in front of him and pointing it at the figure in front.**

" **The Easter Bunny." The voice replied sarcastically, making Bucky smirk slightly as he saw Helena.**

" **Hello again, Rachel's older sister." He smiled, adding her name with pleasure as her attitude dropped, shock on her face as she realised he knew her better than she'd thought.**

" **How do you know that?" She asked, getting defensive as she put her hand on her own gun.**

" **Easily." He replied, walking forwards. The nice approach didn't work last time. He thought he should try the approach she might respond to, the one she was hitting him with.**

" **So what is the Winter Soldier's real name?" She asked, crossing her arms. "I assume the name you told me all those years ago was fake." She told him angrily, walking up to the gun, unfazed.**

" **Years?" Bucky asked, his heart rising to his throat. He couldn't help the feeling as he thought of the memories. It was only a few months ago, that was how he remembered it. He was sure that was how he remembered it.**

" **Yeah, don't you remember?" She asked, wondering if he was playing some sort of mind game with her.**

" **A few months. It was a few months ago." He spoke, like a computer that was buffering. He knew that what she was saying couldn't be true. She realised what was happening and laughed hysterically, not afraid anymore.**

" **You seriously think that? You seriously think that it was a few months ago?" She asked, walking up to him and looking through the barrel of the gun at him. "It was a year ago. I have worked for HYDRA for one whole year, and it is all your fault!" She screamed at him, slapping him.**

Bucky woke up with a gasp, looking around and seeing that he was in the computer room, still researching. He had fallen asleep on the keyboard and saw a mess of different keys on the screen. While he deleted them all, he tried to sort through his memory, wondering if what he remembered was real or not. He pieces together information that he can remember and realises that it has been a year since he had met her.

11


	2. Chapter 2

Assassin Or Friend?

" _Why are you helping everyone?" Bucky asked, seeing her 'infirmary' full of people needing medical attention which Helena gladly gave to the best of her ability._

" _One good turn deserves another." She told him, stitching up a wound on one patient. She was doing the rounds and like a lost puppy, Bucky was sticking with her. He didn't understand anything about this place and he didn't trust anyone but Helena. He knew that he had to find out as much as he could, to maybe make a life for himself in that place as it seemed like he was safe from HYDRA. He hadn't told Helena about that bit. She'd asked him what the soldiers were doing beating him up but he just shrugged it off, not answering her. He didn't know if she knew about them but he knew that if she did, she would kick him out of the haven. And he couldn't let that happen._

 _For the first time in a long time, he'd seen a place where he might actually belong. The people Helena helped, some of them had stayed at the place and learnt basic medical procedures and how to live like her. They had jobs, brought in money, they helped her survive and lived with her. Bucky wanted to be one of those people. They had no other choice or didn't want to take those other choices, so Helena provided another opportunity. Not all took it though, some decided to go back to their families and so she gave them each a backpack of essentials._

 _She really was like a saint, helping these people with her sister. It seemed that the people who stayed with her, travelled with her and they moved from country to country, always on the run. Some places offered better food, others didn't. Rachel didn't like America at the moment, too many guns scaring her all the time. Helena had vowed that it would only be a week longer. "That's what my Mum told me, and if there is just one person in this room that believes that, I have a favour to call in. I have another layer of protection and security for not only me, but Rachel as well." She finished as she looked at Bucky._

 _She had moved onto the next patient and he watched as she carefully wiped the blood from her face. Helena always took such care when she did this, trying not to cause them any more pain. It was one of the things that attracted Bucky to her, even if he didn't know it yet. "Helena…"_

"Helena…" He whispered. Bucky woke up gentler this time, looking at the window on his side. He was still having dreams about Helena and piecing everything together but it wasn't so damaging this time. It was mainly his feelings resurfacing. He found out a lot about who she used to be and was still trying to track her down but pinned down her past up until a year ago. After that, she went off the map. He couldn't find her anywhere, it was if she was dead. But the person he'd seen 5 months ago was not dead. She was quite the opposite.

He knew her past and had guessed quite a lot but he knew that most of it was in place. As a child, both she and Rachel had lived with their parents before they died abroad. At the time, she and Rachel had been left at the adoption home so that was where they stayed until Helena was 18 and Rachel was 8 and the home blew up in a 'freak' accident. Bucky had investigated further into this 'freak' accident and had come to no clear conclusion but was almost certain that it was the work of HYDRA. The two girls had been presumed dead but multiple accounts of them had been shown around the world.

They'd been sticking to England before moving to Scotland. He had a feeling that there was where it all started. At that point, they had no family. Their parents were dead, they had no aunts or uncles, the two girls were all the other had. The police had closed the case and no one cared enough to reopen it. Helena had grown old enough to get a job, education was free and Rachel could learn while Helena made use of what she had learnt, simple sums etc. So Bucky thought that this was where it all started, helping people and moving around the world. He assumed that they always used aliases with their tickets and travelled on low priced airlines where they wouldn't be questioned so much.

That was when Bucky had met them, after so many years that they were experienced in it all. Helena was 28 and Rachel was 18. He saw their birth records and knew everything about them. More than they probably knew themselves. Helena had had her memory wiped and Rachel was only a child, not remembering much. But months had gone by and he couldn't find her at all. They had glimpses of each other but he couldn't concentrate enough to see if it really was. Bucky had tried, he really had tried to get his mind off of the enigma of a doctor.

But he couldn't. He may have given his work to Natasha and promised to stop but he couldn't. And did she really think that he wasn't going to save the documents? Did she really think he didn't have backup, or couldn't research more? Did she really think he was going to stop looking for another like him just because she'd given him a few warning words? Of course she didn't. Steve had looked for months as well and besides, Nat was much cleverer than that, he knew that. So he was wondering what she was doing. What was she doing just taking his research?

What Nat was actually doing, was trying to confirm a theory. The theory of Barnes' love for the mysterious assassin. And she was pretty darn close. She just needed to confirm it with the woman herself and after her extensive research, she knew exactly where to find her. "YES!" Nat smiled, rushing out of the cab and breaking in through the door with an entrance to see Helena sitting in the chair with a cup of tea quite idly. She glanced at Nat who was holding up a gun at her as she took a sip of her tea before laughing to herself. "What's so funny?" Nat asked with hostility in her tone.

"Oh nothing, I just thought of something." She told Nat with a smile on her lips, causing Nat to laugh in return. "What about you?" She asked, redirecting the question to her instead.

"The same, I thought about how perfect you'd be for Bucky. He does that as well, laughs to himself and won't tell anyone why." She told him as Helena nodded slowly with a calm smile on her face at the mention of Bucky.

"How is my favourite assassin by the way?" She asked, putting the cup down as she moved the cups around on the tray, bringing out the coffee. "Two sugars?" She confirmed as Nat nodded, lowering the gun slightly. She knew that these games existed, she'd played them a lot before.

"He's fine, still brooding over you. He's trying to find you all the time and is trying to hide it from me." Nat told her as Helena laughed at Nat's choice of words.

"That's sweet." She commented, handing Nat her coffee. "I used to do that as well." She told Nat who raised an eyebrow at her comment while sitting down in the other chair. "Brood over him." Helena laughed at herself as Nat smiled, sipping her coffee and picking up a biscuit, the gun still resting by her hand.

"Do you still?" Nat asked, genuinely interested in their relationship.

"Sometimes." She mused, sipping her own tea to keep warm. "This may seem weird, but I think I have dreams about him. Some sort of vision of the past or something. Another life maybe, I've been looking into reincarnation." She told Nat who kept quiet, wondering if she should say anything. "But I see the little sister I know I have. I wrote it all down here." She finished, handing her the notes she'd written down. Nat flicked through it all and saw her theories. She thought of precognition, reincarnation and every possibility ever. She had even listed brain-washing but she hadn't put HYDRA as a suspect. "What do you think? Do you have much psychological expertise?" Helena asked, still musing as she sat comfortably.

"I don't. But I still know what happened to you. I still think I can piece it all together." Nat told her, her papers piecing everything together in her pocket.

"Yeah well have fun, even I can't." She told her, lying back and resting her head on the pillow as she enjoyed the warmth of her mug. Nat sifted through the papers a few moments more before putting them down.

"You do know I'm going to have to take you back?" She asked, putting her mug down as well, having finished her coffee.

"Of course." Helena shrugged, putting hers down as well. "But you know that I can't let you do that. I know you were tracking me, I know you'll probably find me again in a few months but right now, I need all the answers to this puzzle before I can turn myself in." She told Nat who nodded, knowing exactly what this cat and mouse game of theirs needed. It needed an end.

"I know. I have them right here. Oh, and take this." Nat told her, putting her research and more compiled version of Helena's own life before ripping off a small, unused piece of paper off the edge and writing down Bucky's contact details from his address to his phone number.

"Thanks darlin'." She mocked with a laugh, picking it all up and putting it in her pocket. "You know, HYDRA is listening to me right now. They know I'm doing this right now." She told Nat whose eyes widened at the revelation. "Just low ranking soldiers, no one proper will come after me until my mission is finished. So I have a few days until I either die or go through excruciating pain." Helena told her, not seeming bothered by her words.

"And you're actually going to go back to them? To endure torture? To be brainwashed. Again?" Nat asked, not understanding her tone. She could already see the bruises on her face.

"Yep, so I'd appreciate it if you don't fight me. Just let me go peacefully." She smiled at Nat who raised a brow at the seemingly insane woman. What was her game plan? What was wrong with her?

"Just come with me, you'll be protected. Don't worry, you'll be safe." Nat tried to persuade her, worried for the woman's safety. "Bucky will be there." She added, making Helena laugh.

"Nah, I need to know everything. I need to figure this out on my own. I can't let anyone else try and help right now. I don't need any more deaths on my consciousness." She joked bitterly, laughing at herself. She picked up the tray, leaving the biscuits on the table. Nat followed her into the dingy kitchen and watched as she put the mugs in the dishwasher, the domestic scene confusing Nat. "How old is Bucky?" She asked out of nowhere, turning round as they walked back into the living room and sat back down in their chairs.

"About 30, why?" Nat asked, confused.

"So he was 29 last year when he met me." She worked out with a laugh. "It's almost my birthday you know. I was born in December, 13th. I've got a month left till I'm 28." She told Nat as she smiled childishly at the event that was so simple yet brought so much joy whether you celebrated it or not. "Now I have to insist that you leave while I bide my time carefully. You can take the biscuit if you want." She told Nat who handed her a note silently, walking out with a smile, waving. "Wait. I made these for Bucky." Helena told her for a moment, rushing into the kitchen and grabbing a zip-lock bag to throw the biscuits in and handed it to Nat who smirked.

"You know, you should really talk to Bucky. He's been brooding over you for ages. I don't think I can take any more." She finished, walking out. Helena silently began to work on the door, replacing it before going through the notes with another cup of tea. She logged into the HYDRA server before he access was temporarily revoked and found her next base. A quick trip to her next hotel, hiding the papers under the bed and keeping a photocopy.

When she got back, she filled in more gaps with the photocopied one and left that on the table where she knew it would be picked up by the HYDRA agents when she left. They would've had no idea what it was and just taken whatever they could find. It would be shredded into a million little pieces but she would still have the notes to remember. She could still remind herself despite the memory wipe. She wouldn't be lost again.

Nat took another cab home and found Bucky almost immediately on the sofa, looking through papers. "Hey, you look like you're working hard. Want a biscuit?" She asked, putting the zip-lock bag on the table in front of him before walking out of the room. Bucky ate them all, not able to stop once he had taken one.

Helena finished her stay and went back to the HYDRA base where soldiers waited for her. She put her hands up and did exactly as they asked, taking her punishment bravely and playing the long game. After all, she had to be careful. She couldn't let them take her memory as strongly as they did last time. The will to submit might show obedience still. She still did everything they asked, pretended like the new information on where she came from didn't mean a thing to her. Like the fact that she had a little sister didn't mean as much to her.

After she'd come back from the HYDRA base, those few months ago, they had instantly known when she didn't say a thing about the mission what had happened. They'd seen it before in Bucky, they knew that Helena and Bucky had history. But after that, when the dreams had come back, when she could remember these things again in a few months, she started trying to get glimpses of the man, just to see if it was real. If he was real and if these dreams could be. He wasn't hard to find with his ridiculous ay of disguising himself, a hat and jacket.

She'd slowly started to remember everything but like before but this time, she'd been clever enough to hide her memories. She didn't let anything on, seducing the man she'd been sent to kill without her mind on anyone else. Or at least, that's what he thought. She got him to go outside as he showed her his impressive garden, leading her by the hand. She strayed behind a bit, waiting for the sniper to do what they did. She saw the red dot on his vein as he looked back at her with a smile. Helena felt guilt start to surge through her as she tried to keep a convincing enough act as the concern started to show on his face at her half smile. Before he could ask, she saw a dart whizz past her and into his neck. He gasped, a bit of blood spurting from his neck.

He fell to the floor, his hand on his neck. Helena caught him with a gasp, trying to support him as she knelt by his side. "Run." He choked out, looking at her in fear as she felt tears come to her eyes. She knew that nobody was monitoring them at that moment and let them drop, taking the dart out with a ripped part of her dress. The dart had just inserted a poison while the real Zopiclone drug had to be inserted by her. This way, he'd only die if no one found him and as painlessly as possible. "Run, quickly. They'll come for you." He whispered, losing consciousness as Helena cried openly.

"I'm sorry." She whispered back as he closed his eyes and she carefully injected the drug into his neck, finding the vein properly. A memory came back to her as she bent over him, making her scream in pain as she held her head together, tears streaming down her face. She momentarily passed out beside him.

 _Bucky lay beneath her as she carefully looked at his neck. She found the vein and looked at him for a moment, fear in her eyes. "If you don't want to do this, run." He told her as she took a breath, trying to calm herself._

" _No, it's fine. I can do it." She nodded, trying to convince herself. "If you don't want me to do it, you tell me now." She told him, conditioning him as she held the needle above him._

" _Yes, I'm sure." He spoke firmly as she wavered._

" _You know that if I miss and hit a nerve, you could be paralysed, you know that?" She asked quickly, making sure he had a choice to back out before she could lose her nerve, or hit his._

" _Helena, look at me. I'm sure. I trust you more than anyone else." He told her with a comforting smile and he closed his eyes as she gently tipped his head to the side before taking a breath and putting it in. She slowly pressed down on the container and watched as the liquid flowed into his system before pulling it out and quickly grabbing the antiseptic and cotton to quickly dab at the pinprick of blood on his neck. "See? All fine." Bucky spoke once he felt the needle leave his neck. He looked at Helena with a charming smile as she shook her head at him._

" _You arse." She muttered with a sigh of relief and small smile on her face. Bucky laughed at her and she lightly smacked him on the metal arm before hurting herself and gasping, shaking her hand. Bucky started laughing even more and she looked at him with a barely suppressed grin. "I hate you." She smirked at him as he fake pouted._

" _I don't think that's true." He told her and she let out a laugh._

" _I don't think I'll ever confirm if it is or not." She replied as she lifted his hand to hold it to his own neck. She opened the box and brought out another needle, carefully filling it with the eggy flu shot and laying them all out beside each other._

" _I don't think I'll ever need that confirmation." He spoke smoothly after a few moments, picking up her hands and lifting her to her feet. She reluctantly left the needles on the floor and got up with him. He started to sway with her, hooking her arms around his neck. She smiled as he started to hum, music to her ears. She twirled in his arms, trying to keep calm. Being this close to Bucky, the man she'd been getting closer and closer to ever since he'd arrived, she felt an indescribable flutter in her heart. He dipped her and she looked up at him, a smile on her face. "Thanks for saving me, twice." He told her as he grinned, not being able to help it in her presence._

" _I think that that is three times. You need to re-learn your simple sums." She teased, inches from his face._

" _Only if you teach me." He flirted, kissing her before she could say anything else. Helena's eyes widened before she responded, closing her eyes and moving her hands to his face, the dancing forgotten. They pulled apart for air and both had a grin on their faces._

" _Go call the next person in." She mock ordered, her voice a whisper._

" _Yes Ma'am." He smiled, saluting and bowing stiffly before walking out. Helena pressed her lips together as she walked him walk out. She felt giddy and tried to contain herself as she bent down again to fix the next needle. That was when she heard the first gunshot._

Helena woke up with a gasp and saw the body of the man next to her and she quickly got up, running off, still in her dress. She went to her hotel room and left the body there, quickly stuffing the dress into a gun holster. She knew what she had to then. At that moment, she knew who she had to go to and where to find him. Her mind was made up after seeing what had really happened between them. "Hello Sergeant Barnes. Or shall I say the Winter Soldier?" Helena asked, pointing up her gun at Bucky who closed the door slowly behind him.

"Well that's a warm welcome." He shrugged, putting the plums on the nearest table. "You want a plum?" He asked, bringing one out and tossing it at Helena who caught it and inspected it.

"Nice." She commended with a smile. "You've obviously done this before, picking the best ones." She laughed, wondering what she was even talking about.

"Probably, but even so, I can't remember." He told her as he pulled one out himself and began to eat. "Just like you can't remember we've met before." He finished, taking the gloves and jacket off.

"Oh I remember that Sergeant Barnes."

"Bucky." He interjected, confusing Helena.

"I'm sorry?"

"You asked if you should call me Sergeant Barnes or the Winter Soldier. My answer is neither, call me Bucky." He told her, clarifying what he meant.

"Ok, Bucky." She told him, wincing as a pain hit her skull repeatedly. "I remember a lot. Or at least, I know a lot about my life. I know my life inside out but only the facts. The proper memories are slightly harder to regain." She finished, the pain making her subconsciously lower the gun slightly.

"They can be. What helps is being with the people who are part of those memories." He smirked, walking forwards.

"People like you?" She asked with a laugh, taking a bite out of the plum.

"Yep. Why not?" He asked as she swallowed.

"I don't know. I don't know what's so funny. It's just that you make it sound like everything will be okay. You make it sound like I'll be safe. It's nice." She complimented, finishing the plum and putting the stone on the nearest table.

"What makes you think I'm just making it sound like that?" He asked, looking at the bruises on her face. He moved forwards, coming face to face with the woman he'd been chasing for months.

"Because it can't be true. It's too good to be true." She told him matter-of-factly.

"What did they do to you?" He asked, lifting a hand to her face to gently brush over the bruises on her face. "The memory wiper or hands?" He asked with a growl and she flicked his hand away, trying to keep calm but couldn't keep herself from letting the emotion take over and her face gave everything away. "Hands." He deduced with an angry and almost animalistic growl. "How long ago was this?"

"Yesterday." She breathed, trying to keep to tears away.

"No wonder you won't trust that it will all be okay." He scoffed as she moved away.

"It won't be. It never is, I have to go back, you can't protect me." She told him, getting hysterical.

"Yes I can. I can and I will. I'll go on protecting you as long as I can." He vowed, not letting her back away again. This time he was ready for anything. He would not let her get away from this again. He was ready for a sneak attack, he was ready for anger or fear or any other emotions she was feeling.

"I have to go back." She muttered over and over like a mantra, looking at the floor before hitting the wall behind her and looking up at Bucky. "I'll ruin your reputation, I'll tell Steve what you did, I'll find out how to hack your arm, I'll…" Helena spoke, trailing off as she tried to move away further despite the obvious and quite literal blockade that stood in her way.

"You can do whatever you want but I will never stop trying to help you." Bucky told her, taking one of her hands in his, looking at her intently. Helena was trying to fight the tears and the grief in her heart, telling her to let him in.

"Why? Why are you doing this?" She asked, the tears making her eyes shine. Bucky smiled at his emotion, glad he was making progress.

"Because I should." He told her, remembering her words from what felt like so long ago. Tears slid down Helena's face as she let her emotions show. All of them, the grief, the hurt and the hope and especially the love. "You told me that." He smiled down at her as Helena sniffed, a small smile on her face as she looked up at the assassin.

"I know, I remember." She nodded, trying to pull herself together as she started to breathe heavier and heavier. "What's happening?" She asked, panicking as she feels her knees weakening.

"It's ok, it's ok. It's just part of remembering." Bucky told her as she fell into his arms and tears well up in her eyes. She closed her eyes and a tear slipped down her face as she surrendered to the memories and collapsed in Bucky's arms. He didn't hesitate to pick her up and put her in the bed to recover, taking away all of her guns and knives in case the memory dump had caused her to reset instead. He undid her tightly tied hair so she could sleep better and took off her holster leaving her with only a normal looking shirt and jeans and left the room, cleaning up his apartment in silence.

Helena woke up shortly after he'd left the room but let herself lay on a bed which she assumed was normal standards for others, but found it uncomfortable only seconds later, laying up against the pillow and trying to sort through her memories. She remembered Rachel first and then Bucky and what they had and felt herself breathing faster already. Her heart thudded as she wondered where her little sister was. Where she could be. Where she went. And the worst of all, if she survived. She wouldn't have been surprised if she had walked past her in the halls of HYDRA and hadn't recognised her. Memory wiping was strong. After practicing on Bucky, she knew they had probably given her a much stronger and more refined one.

She got up after realising she had to go. HYDRA was probably looking for her and she knew she would be killed on sight. She had betrayed them like Bucky and she'd been told to kill him so she would be the same. But after getting up, she realised she had no guns on her, no knives, nothing to protect her apart from her own fighting skills and the clothes she had on her body. Her shock turned into despair as she knew that Bucky had taken them and what he was thinking. He thought he could keep her there, turn her to the 'good' side. He couldn't. She had to tell him that. She had to crush his hopes without crushing him.

Helena decided to pretend she had reset. She decided she had forgotten everything, there was nothing that he could do for her. She had to go and make him believe she was his enemy. So she could go and find Rachel. So she could go and build a new life looking after her little sister like she always did. She walked out and saw Bucky cleaning up the apartment in silence. She was stopped in her tracks, looking at him as he kept in his silent, brooding mood. She couldn't help the smile on her face as she watched the man who had saved her before shaking herself out of it and adopting an angry frown. "Where am I?" She asked, grabbing Bucky's attention as he turned around.

"You're in my apartment Helena. Do you remember?" He asked, slowly walking up to her as she took a step back, faltering as she saw the genuine hurt on his face.

"No." She replied, trying to keep calm. "I don't remember. I don't know who you are. How do you know my name?" She asked angrily, backing away in disgust.

"Because I know you. You're Helena. I love you." He spoke quickly, shocking her as she realised what he'd said. "You had your memory wiped by HYDRA."

"HYDRA, I remember them. I have to go back there." She told him, thrown off by his very verbal confession of love.

"No, no they're bad. They used you." Bucky tried to persuade her quickly as she looked around for her guns.

"Bad? I, I don't remember them that way." Helena stumbled, raising Bucky's suspicions.

"What?" He asked in disbelief as she rolled her eyes with and annoyed sigh.

"You're not helping. You are useless if I want any information, I should dispose of you." She finished, thinking like HYDRA and beginning to punch him. She got two in, throwing him to the floor before he stopped her fist with his hand.

"Stop, Helena! You're not like this!" He shouted as she used her other hand, looking around for her gun while punching Bucky. She got another two in before he grabbed both her hands and threw her to crash into the wall. She hit the wall and slid down, landing on her side with a groan. Helena saw the side table next to her and quickly looked through it. "NO!" Bucky shouted, knowing that she would find it. He had put it there because he really believed he wouldn't need to hide it properly. He really believed that she would come back to her senses. He began to run over to stop her from finding everything when she turned around, holding a gun to his head.

"Stop." She ordered in a monotone voice.

"Helena, don't do this." He whispered, holding his hands up as he looked at her straight past the barrel of the gun and into her eyes.

"I have no choice. They'll kill me." She told him, trying to hold back the emotion she was feeling. She had to remain angry and full of hatred for the man she loved.

"Yes you do. I can help you. You can stay with me." He tried as her hands started shaking.

"Why would you do that?" She asked, not believing him.

"One good turn deserves another." He told her, the guilt inside him squirming. He knew that there had to be more than one way to deal with her. He knew he could fight her, he knew he could hurt her and disarm her that way, but he couldn't. Looking at the conflicted emotions flickering on her face, he knew that he couldn't hurt her. Not like that. But this was worse. Forcing her to remember so she'd fight it and cause herself the pain, it hurt him just as much. But if his limbs wouldn't move, what else could he do?

Helena cried out in pain, dropping the gun and falling to the floor, lying on her side as she gasped for breath just like Bucky had the morning of that fateful mission that had led to this 6 months later. Bucky kicked the gun away, pinning her arms to the floor as he watched her cry with the memories. She looked up at him for a moment as she wheezed before her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she went limp on the floor. Bucky slowly took away his arms and checked for a pulse, getting worried but let out a sigh of relief when he found one. He picked her up and put her back in the bed, picking up his phone and doing what he should've done before but didn't because of his emotional clouding.

"Steve? I need your help." He told him over the phone and just like that, Steve came driving over. He would've sped if he didn't believe in breaking the law, even for his best friend. Bucky was ready to open the door when he arrived, the super-soldier walking in.

"What's wrong?" He asked, seeing the mess that Bucky had tried to clear up before he came. He had done a pretty good job except for the scuff marks on the walls which Steve knew wasn't there before.

"It's a long story." Bucky told him with a sigh, ashamed of what he had done. Bucky began to explain everything, Steve listening patiently and without judgement. He looked in on the unconscious Helena and turned to his childhood friend afterwards with a kind, understanding smile.

"Buck, I would say something else if I could but you know what you have to do." He told him, placing a supportive hand on his shoulder as they sipped on their coffees together.

"I know." Buck replied with another sigh, picking up the phone.

Helena woke up, a pounding in her head as she looked around the cell. Her hands were bound together, like her legs and she fell out of the bed, grunting as she hit the floor. She looked at the change of clothes she was in, noting the dress and washed hair. She wondered who had washed her and a sense of insecurity came over her. She looked around from the floor, trying to get up quickly. Suddenly, the door opened and she as offered a hand by someone. She looked up to see kindly looking, middle aged man. "Can't really take it right now." She told him wittily, making the man laugh as he gently lifted her off the ground, much stronger than he looked. He set her on her feet and she nodded gratefully at her.

"Agent Phil Coulson." He introduced himself, holding out a hand which she shook.

"I'm guessing you already know me, but my name's Helena." She introduced in return as she shuffled from one foot to the other, the chains around her feet quite shackling.

"Nice to meet you." He smiled at her as she fell on him again, the chain getting caught up in each other.

"I would say the same but the circumstances aren't great." She told him, being pushed back onto her feet as she jumped from one foot to the other, the chains unwrapping. "Is this just for your amusement or is there a point to these ridiculous shackles?" She asked, standing on her own two feet again happily.

"Mainly for our amusement but we do have a proper reason for it which no one can actually remember." He told her as she nodded with a hum of amusement. This man was funny, he returned every witty comment she made with one of his own and it always continued the banter instead of cutting her off.

"Have you had a lot of practice with things like this?" She asked, still keeping a hold on his arm to stay upright.

"Too much." Phil smiled, making her laugh before another man walked in. Taller, more intimidating and an eyepatch being his most defining feature. Helena felt the mood in the room change almost immediately as he walked in.

"Is she fighting us?" He asked, addressing Phil who stood next to Helena.

"Only verbally Sir." Phil replied, still cheery despite the mood that the man brought. Helena watched the exchange with wonder in her eyes as she saw the working relationship between them. She guessed this was SHIELD. But it was nothing like she'd imagined. The leaders were still fierce and could command everyone in the room, but not out of fear. Out of respect.

"God, not another one." He moaned, a sense of joking in his words.

"You've had to deal with witty people too? Oh god, you're going to hate me." Helena smirked as he eyed her carefully.

"Well let's hope you never give me any reason to." He spoke, the first real words he'd said to her. As she frowned at him in confusion, he took out the keys from his pockets, chucking one pair to Coulson and keeping one for himself. Phil bent to the floor, beginning to unlock her feet while eyepatch walked forwards, unlocking her hands as she gasped, moving backwards for a moment.

"Why would you do that?" She asked, not trusting whatever agenda they had. "Why would you un-cuff me? You do know that I could attack you? At any moment?" She stressed, trying to prove how much of a danger she was.

"But you're not." The eyepatch guy spoke simply. "Because I have something you need. Safety." He finished and Helena took a breath, trying to calm herself. She didn't believe him, she tried to convince herself that she was fine and that they were lying.

"How? How do you know that? How can you guarantee that?" She began to ask, getting hysterical. The tears welled up in her eyes as she sobbed.

"Because I know that Barnes would never let any harm come to you. I signed a contract and I keep to my word." He told her, the mention of Bucky making Helena cry out as she put her hands over her mouth to stop herself. He held up a piece of paper and Helena walked over to inspect it, seeing his signature saying that she would be protected, that no harm would come to her. Tears fell down her face as she read it all.

"Director, thank you." She told him, not having any other words as she wiped the tears from her face. He gave her a comforting smile and Phil offered her a tissue. She laughed at his gesture and blew her nose as she made sure there was no trace of any crying at all. "Do I look okay?" She asked, relishing the feeling of being able to ask things like that.

She loved being so comfortable around people, enough to ask about her appearance which she had no doubt was red and blotchy but, "You look fine." Was still their response.

"Thank you. I mean it." Helena stressed, hugging them. They seemed a little taken aback and slightly stiff but let Helena hug them nonetheless.

"Come with me." Phil guided her, taking her by the arm as they walked out and met with the other Avengers in the lounge. She was met very warmly but the only face she saw was Bucky's and a grin overcame her. She left Phil's arm to go to him and kissed him full on the lips to the delight of everyone. She could hear their cheers and grinned into the kiss as she closed her eyes, finally feeling safe in Bucky's arms.

11


End file.
